Phil Better be Good with the Snow Shovel!

So the varmit saw his shadow, which determines that there will be 6 more weeks of Winter. But are we really surprised?

I can not, in all of my 24.5 years on this Earth, recall a February 2nd when the sunshine did not magically appear after weeks and weeks of dismal January clouds, just in time to allow Mr. Phil to be frightened by his own shadow (lame ass) and declare another 6 weeks of winter. I remember as a little girl, every second day of February, hoping that the rodent would not be able to see his shadow. And if he did, maybe this year he would not be afraid. Maybe this would be the year that he would look that shadow in the face and say "I am not afraid of you! I am a rodent of unusual size for crying out loud! I will not bow down in the face of darkness and evil! I laugh at your meager attempts to scare the bejesus out of me!"

I don't remember this ever happening, because Punxsutawney is apparently a wuss.

So because this rodent is completely spineless we are doomed to six more weeks of snow and ice and death and destruction.

But I have a plan that will vastly improve the lives of future generations. I propose that Phil relocate to the Pacific Northwest. I understand it is cloudy and rainy there constantly, and I imagine the chances of him seeing his shadow on this cursed day every year would diminish greatly. And if the sight of his own shadow really and truly leaves him so on edge, I am sure he would not mind a more hospitable environment for his fragile nerves.

But, until he becomes a more rational individual and/or makes a move to a sunless environment, I demand that he help me shovel the driveway and push my car out of whatever snow drift in which it gets stuck!